It Means What?!

by Kristen Hanley Cardozo

What’s in a name? Sometimes more than we’d like. Many common modern names have nefarious pasts, or hidden unflattering meanings.

The point of this is not to stop parents from using names with unbecoming meanings. In point of fact, the meanings have little meaning, as they change over time, usually becoming associated more with the people who bear the names than the literal etymological past of a given root word. When people hear the name Calvin Klein, they think of the brand, not the word Calvin (little, bald one) or Klein (small). It may be true that Calvin Klein means a very small bald man, but I suspect that very few people are thinking about it.

If the point of all this is not to dissuade parents from using these names, what, then is the point? Well, it is partially to amuse, but also to remind ourselves that we need not take things at face value. Many baby name books and websites give the meanings a bit of a PR job, to try to keep from insulting people. After all, who would name their beautiful little baby Kennedy if told that it meant large, misshapen head? (It does in fact mean this. Many sites and books have twisted the meaning to get something about leadership, or left out the taint of “misshapen” with a simple “large head”.) But does this really matter? Unless you’re a trivia guru, probably not.

As someone who likes words considerably, I find the cleaned up meanings less interesting, and more muddled. The meanings are muddled enough as it is, changing as they pass from language to language. For example, the name Connor is of uncertain derivation. It is known to be an Anglicized form of the Irish Gaelic name Conchobhar, but whether this name is composed of conn (wisdom, counsel, strength), con (dog), or cobhair (aid) is a matter of doubt and speculation. By selecting the most appealing reason, we lose some of the interesting story of this name.